Certain Hope

Do you love me?

Or is it lust?

Will you catch me?

Or allow me to plunder?

Will you have my back?

As I have yours.

I don’t know…

I don’t know…

Uncertainty clouds my mind

And triggers these obsessive thoughts.

After all this vigorous thinking, three words still remain

I don’t know…

Will I finally win this ongoing battle?

Or will my sickness have the final say?

Will I be tortured by that one word when?

Or shall I live to see tomorrow’s sun?

I don’t know…

I don’t know…

Uncertainty clouds my mind

And triggers these obsessive thoughts.

After all this vigorous thinking, three words still remain

I don’t know…

I carry their picture in my pocket

I visit it everyday

I imagine the kids have grown since then

And if my absence has aged her

Another mission begins again tomorrow

In secret…

Will this be my final mission?

Can I put my weapons to rest?

Or will my life end in this warzone

A half a world away? 

I don’t know…

I don’t know…

Uncertainty clouds my mind

And triggers these obsessive thoughts.

After all this vigorous thinking, three words still remain

I don’t know…

The seasons change, as do I

I blossom in a new age of maturity

With every waking breath

Inhale..

Hope.

Exhale..

Negativity.

Persons around me are unaware

Change only comes from within

And spreads to all those who are fair.

My walls are not encompassed with answers

Yet they come crashing down day by day

Then the world reveals its beauty

But only to those who allow themselves to witness it.