Change

I am forced to wear a mask, forced to be like everyone else, forced to do whatever it takes to be pretty, popular, accepted, I conform to their whims, mimick every movement, repeat every word I wanna be like the girl on the magazine, with smooth skin, lushous lips, gorgeous hair, and beautiful eyes, I want to be slimmer, taller, better, I wanna be like the girl on t.v., that al the guys want, all the girls wanna be, I look in the mirror 100% me, I look at the magazine 0% her. I change my appearence, 95% My new look gets me noticed, start getting new friends and forget about the old, they're just holding me back, right? 85% start going out and trying new things, its only one beer, one blunt, one pill days turn to weeks, to months, to a year, 70% I get a few boyfriends, listen to the promises of love, of forever, 60% I let down my guard.50% I go with the flow and follow the crowd, hang with my "friends", 25% hop from boy to boy to bed to bed,15% pop a pill, take a puff and have a swig, until I am 0% me. Finally I'm fighting the demons of addiction and pleasure while trying to provide for myself, and my child, the disease of depression putting pressure on my heart and my soul, eating me away. 0% me, I have lost myself forever changed I look in the mirror 0% me I wonder if I'm like that girl on the magazine.