Change

God its me its me i say.. I need your help father now more than ever today. Lord i know i am stronger ..stronger than this.. I know i must stop using... i must quit. Help me lord give me the strength to walk away. Give me the courage to say nope not today.. Everywhere i look everywhere i see i see people living life happily and free. I ask my self lord why cant that also be me.. I have lived a life that many wouldnt survive. So i say thank you God for keeping me alive. My heart is pounding it hurts with so much pain.. Lord please help me before i go insane. The smile i put on the laughter i give.. It feels like a bullet through the heart and a knife between my ribs. Who am i ? what am i here for? Help me God for i feel like i cant do this no more.. I feel as if i disappointed you.. As if i have let you down.. I ask of you please help me turn all of this around.. I am on my knees lord as tears roll down my face.. Confused and lost in this crazy place. Im praying to you father can you hear my plea. Help me to fight these demons inside of me. The Devil is tempting with riches and Gold.. I know my soul belongs to you and can never be sold.. I need to come out of hiding i need to break free. I need you father to help me release me. I look in the mirror and no longer see my self .. Who is this person who is losing his health? Not getting enough sleep not having much to eat.. My energy is started fading im slowly getting weak. God what i thought was helping me is really killing me. Heavenly father please hear my prayer please hear my plea.. I have these tears rolling down my Face.. Confused in lost in this crazy place..