A Changed Heart

Waking up in a strange place,

Coming home to a changed world.

No driving so

Less freedom, more doctors

Less absolutes, more uncertainties

Less school, yet still more tests.

Waking up at night

Coming to an acceptance of tears as a norm.

No serving others so

Less joy, more complaints

Less laughter, yet still the world laughed.

Tumors, lesions, strokes, loss of vision?

Yearning for an answer

Searching for peace

Shutting people out

Missing school

Then the realization

Teachers, family, friends, strangers even—the world

The world was crying with me.

A chilled heart was warming up,

Being clothed with the fire of strength and dignity,

Laughing at the days to come.

Surgery, doctors, still more questions.

But every day waking up with peace,

Coming home to a mindset

With less sighs, more joy

With less noise in the background, more noise of my making

Waking up at night

Coming back to who I was

No more stepping backward

Simply living and loving this heart and life God has given me