Changed by Love

No matter how hard I try,

I can no longer deny.

As I stand here and stare,

I am fully aware.

With agonizing clarity,

I recognize I have become the person I tried so hard not to be.

I try to salvage what ever is left of the old me,

with a growing understanding and a rising anger.

I continue my internal search,

while trying not to hate this stranger.

My past which I would act like did not affect me,

began to run through my mind, ever brightening.

It was so frightening, since I could no longer ignore it.

I just took my anger, sorrow, pain, and stored it,

deep inside me thinking that it would keep me safe.

Sadly, that was not case, instead of a removal of repression,

there was evident regression, fueling my ever growing depression.

Ominous dark clouds for storm over my quivering heart,

yet I still did not accept this was worse than the pain in which I wanted no part.

I would rather grin and bear it, than share it, and be bared.

The dark clouds grew so big and dark, greatly affecting everything internally,

it started to show it's grip on me physically.

Ever hungry was this darkness, it was hard to satiate,

slowly turning my happiness to hate.

You may be wondering was there nobody to love me?

Yes! If I had dared myself earlier to look above me,

I would see many people with smile.

Giving my fragmented heart something to beat about,

such reasons have be absent for quite a while.

Although I am still healing, wounds still sealed deep down,

my life is making a major turn around.

My thoughts turned upside down,

as I experience  purifying Love.

All those out who do not have any body to look up to,

I want you to know, you can use me to help you pull through.

Until I die, my heart will beat for you,

I know this is hard to swallow. 

Yet, I dare you believe, watch what you will achieve.

I dare to look above yourself, accept love,

remember loving somebody detrimental.

I want to be instrumental in making you truly smile,

I would LOVE share you pain.

Together we will heal each other's wounds from the world's cruelty,

together we will both live to become the change we wish to see.

Together we can live by a rule to,

a rule in which: we are never afraid to love and keep on loving.

For life with love may hurt, but life without love kills you.