Chaos Ruling

Poem – Chaos Ruling

It is cold and dark.

It could be colder and darker.

It has been colder and darker before.

But it is cold and dark enough for now.

This coldness and darkness are different than before.

Each moment in the dark is unique really with its own shade of pain, questions, and confusion.

Difficult to measure darkness.  

After a while you are numb to the cold.

All order and reason seem lacking, sitting alone without answers or solutions.

Chaos rules

Alone but not alone.

In the company of my companions who suffer with me and sometimes more intently than I do. 

The fellowship of the suffering.

Comforting each other with our presence more than with our words. 

All human words seem vain in the darkness.

It is good to know we do not suffer alone yet wish we did suffer alone for the sake of those who are with us.   Strange emotional paradox. 

But, in this I remember.

YOU the ETERNAL suffering ONE, Jesus, are here with me by YOUR choice afflicted with my affliction.   Afflicted with our afflictions.  Sharing in our suffering.  Sharing in my suffering.

YOU bid me to trust YOU in the darkness.

Accept the fact that for reasons beyond my reason there is a need, purpose, and plan in all this pain.

There is a plan for the chaos.

Is there a plan for the chaos?

Then YOU show me YOUR nail scarred hands.

Yes, there is a plan for the chaos a “deeper magic” that the darkness does not comprehend.

So I sit with YOU Jesus, not really making sense of any of it, but because YOU have been with me all these decades, sat with me in all my darkness, never abandoned me or lost me, and telling me that I am love, I will keep by YOUR grace trusting YOU in the dark.

YOU are the light in the darkness.