Chemicals

I gaze upon you, and what is it I see?

An expression? A soul? No, it is only a body.

I listen to your word, I know your mind to be strong

But reflective, slow persuasion

Prove my thoughts and feelings wrong.

You're beautiful to me

Except you're nothing but a face

For what I see as beauty was not my decision to make

And your features only satisfy this part of me I hate.

I beg of myself to let not the purpose 

Of all your actions and words

Be so elusive to my mind

This manipulation, this curse,

My judgement without reason

And these feelings even worse.

Oh, poor naive heart

It simply knows no better

He dreams to breathe in blowing winds

And dance with them as feathers

But the mind; it hungers for more

What it wants, it will take

As these chemicals destroy what I leave unrestrained.

So however again

In knowing what I've done

Could I ever pretend to find

The love for once I longed?

Infatuation I say

Hot blood may run so brief

But furthermore there is much of you that I still cannot see

Blinded by myself

I pull sheets across my eyes

Sewn with explicit directions 

Of how to compliment your eyes

But for the love of the Lord

Will I ever see you for you?

Or will I see only that

Which the mind tells me to do?

May I speak to you the words

That deep within I feel?

Or hide myself, deluded

That our destiny is real?

This poem is about: 
Me

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