A child

I never had sex yet I had a child Only 9 going on 10 years old and I had a child They didnt do it on purpose They didnt intend to make me a mother But here I was This little boy in my hands Here I was right out of diapers myself, stuby legs, flat chested with no bump of my own to present milk of my own with a child in my arms I didnt complain , I didnt realise back then how this child straight out of my mothers womb would also become a part of me He greeted me with smiles and how could I protest I had my own barbie doll a live oner ight in my arms How could I protest Others my age were jumping rope, playting dress up, danicing in the sun... I was taking care of my child Not cause my parents were un-fit Just time was'nt on their side It wasnt a burden, what did I know? Again I was nine maybe ten and he was my life I grew up, he grew up right there next to me, we grew up Now I see a part of me in him I was too young, I didnt get a chance to live I didnt breath, I didnt dance I didnt skip down roads I didn't get a chance to be a child but hey , time waits for no one I was no peter and tinkerbell didnt fly through my window but what does it matter now I'm 17 and i'm just now realising I NEVER HAD A CHILD! So why is it so hard to choose something for myself withought thinking of him Why do I fear the worst if I depart They dont know who he is, they dont know what he likes, they were there but I was closser I was there when he cried, a little girl rocked a little boy to sleep A little girl held a little boys hand as they crossed the street A little girl raised a little boy He's not done growing Neither is she, but her journey is almost over She feels theres another place she must be So how does a mother tell her child she wants to leave him behind.. greater things await It breaks her heart to know she might shatter his heart If she leaves who will be his mother? It frightens me to know every move I make affects him too He doesnt deserve to be deserted How do I choose How do I the girl who has a child wake up and realise that... she DOESNT HAVE A CHILD...