childhood

i realized i had lost my childhood

because playgrounds were sad

and i realized i had lost my childhood

because age increased

because pain stretched

because it teared

i realized i had lost my childhood

because my fears whispered in my ear 

when i saw the ghost of my young self 

running down the street

i had lost my childhood

because whispering to my friends 

about nothing 

shouldn’t be a memory

because i couldn’t remember

what nothing is anymore

and i realized i had lost my childhood

because walking past my old school hurts

because nostalgia is eerie

it’s like seeing someone you recognize

but don’t remember

like fantom pains of happiness

that twist me in places that i can’t find

i realized i had lost my childhood

because life is strange now

it’s strange to live as a child

after your childhood has passed away