Childhood Memories

I can not pinpoint the moment when

I stopped being a kid

Maybe it was high school,

When i started,

Wide eyed and naiive,

Scared and alone and knowing fully well that

None of my friends liked me

Sitting at lunch with these girls

I was desperate to please

But not quite fitting in

Maybe it was middle school

When I suddenly realized that

Life is hard

And my life, like the

Whirlwind it seemed to be

Left me stranded

Struggling to keep up with coursework

Struggling to keep up with friends

Struggling to remember that I

Was just as smart

And worthy as these other kids

Or maybe it was fourth grade

When my anxiety disorder came into play

When I was so afraid to fail my tests I started

Pulling out my hair and I haven’t stopped since

I did not grow up because I wanted to

But I was so afriad to fail

That I had to

I did grow up because I wanted to

And if i could go back to

Being clueless in my

Childhood naiivety

I would do it in a heartbeat

But I can’t

And I can not pinpoint the moment when

I stopped being a kid

And as terrifying as it is,

Maybe I still have more

Growing up left to do