Childhood Memory

The bright neon lights glistened and gleamed

Dancing and twirling across the black night sky

Before they were distorted by the blur

As the car went whizzing by

The warm summer night is teeming with magic

And bursting at the seams with exhilaration

As I took in the night life

Gaping in awe with large innocent owl-like eyes

The enchantment only seemed to augment when my mother and I

Were seated at the solid wood bar

I felt on top of the world

On top of that smooth red cushioned bar stool

I beamed over at my Mom but,

Of course I recognized that look in her glassy blue eyes

She was no longer my Mom

Her long blond hair unkempt

Her speech suddenly slurred

Suffocated by the sea of alcohol she consumed

All the words posing as a single one

The spicy scent of her perfume masked

By the foul stomach churning odor

Of the drinks on her breath

No this was not my mother

Now, now she was Cindy

That is when I noticed the mob of men that seemed to appear

Circled around us like a pack of insidious wolfs 

Making me feel as meek and helpless

As a lost little lamb

Lust in their dark intimidating eyes

As they were ready to reap the innocence from mine

They we all talking to her,

Buying her more noxious drinks,

More poison

Panic arose inside as I watched our opportunity of escape 

Slowly dwindle until it vanished without us

I tugged, tugged, tugged at her soft flowy shirt

Desperate to vanish without a trace

But with a couple of cold flicks of her wrist

I was shooed away; I was getting in her way

Of fun and a good time

My eyes stung and swelled

With hot burning tears

As I gave into the heart wrenching feeling of complete defeat

And that empty lonely feeling lasted years, and yet

As I drive that same windy road,

And watch the same bright neon lights,

And pass that same place,

Where it all started,

 I can smile to myself and know that,

At the same young impressionable age she was

Where she began her “bad habits”

Creating a path of pain and tears

I can hold my head high,

Proving to those that have doubted my ability

To be everything she never was

I did not follow her path, no

But rather, I created my own.

 

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