Childhood No Longer

When did I grow up

When did I stop caring about barbie dolls and toy cars

And started caring about anxiety and depression

To worrying about no longer fitting the mold society has created

Wondering what's going to happen next if I'm not prepared

For the big test, or college, or bills, or jobs

What's going to happen if I don't take my pills

Will I sink lower into my depression, have more nightmares of the past

Or will I unlikely somehow rise above the flames, healing scars time has made

Where did my childhood go

The swing sets, and slides, the wonderful summer time

All of it now a simple memory buried under the ashes of my childhood dreams

Now life consist of worries and pain

Fun will come occasionally, but never when it’s really needed

I used to be shiny and carefree with a smile always on my face

But the smile I wear now is fake, it hides a dull light and worries that stretch for days

But I haven’t given up hope that my smile will one day return

That I will be as bright as I used to be and maybe even brighter

As long as I don’t lose hope I should succeed

But for now I get ready for another long day full of tears

I put on my glasses and tie up my hair, then I look into the mirror and see three things

The person I was before, now, and will be

And It gives me strength to get over those tears and remember

That my childhood is no longer, but I’m still here