Chocolate Pools

I sleep so i can dream about being with you. In my dreams we are happy, in love, a power couple that everyone envies. I wake and my nightmares begins. Away from you my days seem long. Away from us time seems to slow down and the pain of you not being near me heightens and i feel like iamgoingtopassoutfromthedistance. I close my eyes and see you. Those chocolate pools of anger and lust that always watch my every move and touch every inch of my curves. My heart beats faster and faster when I hear your voice saying to me " come here and give me a kiss" and I fall into a million pieces of self loathe because I will never be what you need BUT i am what I need. you made me feel like i was the most beautiful woman in the world, but what good is that when your heart never belonged to me and I...like a fool.. gave you mine. enough is enough. I NEED ME. i don't need you anymore. I have ridden this roller coaster for far too long and i've become sick mentally and emotionally from this ride. the I WANT YOU but STAY AWAY bullshit. I lost myself. I was weak, you were right, but now i am STRONG. i will think about the amazing nights we spent together, but i will no longer find myself needng your love because i need MY love. its time we stopped this ride and move on from this. i need someone that will not make me feel this self loathe and that someone is ME.