A Choice

Salvation was like a Silver lining Like the Mirror of ERISED, Like the water of Ocean that I can never drink Something I can see but never touch For The beast in me bellowed, Thrashing it's tail around The thin string that held it back Gave away underneath all the stress The pain of loss found its solace in me as desolation seeped through my skin I wished for the hurt to go away.. To be numb, To feel nothing A fire ignited in my heart, As the monster was set free Darkness on  the  verge of drowning my entire world Adrenaline buzzed me and My eyes blazed a fiery red I was far gone I could almost taste the freedom-My Freedom From Agony, Torment , Deception, EVERYTHING But Something held me back from pouncing on it Maybe I didn't have the stomach for it But it was more than that Memories flooded my head & I stumbled I drew in a deep breath, Nails biting through my palms and lips bleeding red, caught between my teeth The thin line drawn between Not guilty and guilty more evident now than ever "Not today" I whispered I opened my eyes, A light shone in the dark So blindingly bright - The right choice Still  Sway not. Fear me, for the beast lies silenced yet Uncompromised Waiting for the day it will be summoned, to unleash Chaos and to wreck havoc My dearest ones acted as the Anchor that kept me grounded The strength to go through the same Anguish day after day  and to make the same choice Over and Over And its to them, I say " Thanks"