The choking grasp

I woke up one day to the sound of birds

Racing through the house before I went off to school 

They announced a chance to travel abroad

Excited I told Mom

Her face dropped

Then we told Dad

He looked distraught. 

They sat me down

I was only 10 

when they explained I could never see the foreign lands

I remember thinking 

"Maybe it won't be that cool." 

But that night

As I thought and thought about the trip

I became sadder and felt my heart quit

From that moment I was never the same

In the back of my mind I knew I was restrained.

I was too afraid to go to New York

I had to turn away visiting the Old World. 

For the rest of my life

I wished nothing but silence

Unless I could eventually fly out of the clutches

Now that I have some freedom

I can't tell how real it is

I feel the same

with a few little pieces. 

I am filled with nothingness

I cannot see how to get out

I cannot see how to feel free

I want to hopebu

t I just can't see how that can be