The Church Pest

Some people will go to church on Sunday night

To start a fuss or pick a fight

Will criticize the songs and prayers

And occupy two or three chairs

Will criticize the preachers text

Their choice will be next

Will talk about Sister Suzy’s dress

Bringing up an old forgotten mess

Of what she is and what she’s not

And what she hasn’t got

Will talk about the preachers wife

Publishing all her private life

They’ll think the entire church is wrong

Saying that the services last too long

When it comes to collection time

They’ll hardly want to give a dime

They’ll say “ the choir can’t sing”

“And the organist can’t play anything”

They’ll turn, twist, jump and shout

After service is over, they’ll curse you out

They’ll leave the church without a fear

And then go out to drink a beer

They’ll discuss communion right with you

And try to take your husband too

At church the next communion night

They’ll serve as if they were right

Not one thing will they confess

That’s what I call a church pest