Cigarette

In two years I watched my 6 foot, 240 pound father waste away to a ghost

At 14 I woke up everyday

and went to school knowing he was sick

I cried with him when he lost his hair

At 15 I watched them cut a hole in his throat so he could breathe

I stayed home from school to change his bandages 

to feed him ensure through a tube 

At 16 I watched him fade away on a hospital bed

when I heard the phone ring 

I knew it was to inform us of his death

We picked up his ashes 

and I felt more pain than some people feel in their whole lifetime