The Circus

Anxiety:
A seven letter word that
Knocks the wind out of me every time
I am called to attention

Ladies and gentleman!
Step right up and see,
Me, cracking under the pressure.
I'm afraid I cannot overcome this.

Though I am aching for control,
My sweaty hands fail to let me grasp
Anything that is in my sights,
Or even ideas that come to mind

Adding to that, the worst villian:
Depression.
But it's not depression when you have,
"Nothing to be depressed about"

Bullshit.
I cannot help feeling like I am collapsing.
It feels like everyone is always watching 
And yelling, and judging and -

I need to take a deep breath.
I need to take a step back.
I need to get out of this building. 
Right. Now.

When did my roar turn into such a harmless meow?
The ring leader in my head is toying with me now.
Is the show worth it?

Maybe next time I will appear less apprehensive,
Maybe then I will have more confidence in my act
But until then, please remember,
That it is not easy taming lions to jump through fire.