Clearly, I Hate You.

From the moment you walked in, I couldn't keep my eyes off you. Clearly, I hate you.

Your hair is so pretty, your smile's so bright, your laugh's so lovely. I can't look away when you put on your mango chapstick. I love mango. Clearly, I hate you.

My face is red when you call my name, you seek me out to tell me a joke, tell me a story. I laugh, I listen, I look for you too. We gravitate towards each other like magnets. Clearly, I hate you.

You're so good at your job, make everything look so effortless, you take my spot as The Best. I watch your every move and you don't ever miss a step. I tell you this, you put your hand on my shoulder, "Thank you!". I want to stay there forever, I want to run away. Clearly, I hate you.

No one likes you, I defend you behind your back. They vandalize your cup, I scrub it off before you see. They laugh, you cry. This time, it's in sharpie. This time, you saw. This time, I defend you in plain sight. It's a disposable plastic, What do i care? I get you a new cup delivered in less than 5 mins. Clearly, I hate you.

You take my hand in yours, we hold each other close. Two peas in a pod, so alike we could be twins. We finish each other's sentences, we order the same food, we hurt about the same things. Our scars are mirror images. We go out to dinner, to lunch, to movies, to bed. You say "Ask me out." I ask "Why don't you ask me out?" You say nothing, I am afraid. I work up the courage, you're with someone else now. Congratulations, I say.  I'm fine, I say. But clearly, my heart aches. Clearly, I hate you.

I stay by your side, I can't bear to part from you. He's not the one for you, I say, He's being irrational, I say. He's going to hurt you, I say. You brush it off as heartbroken words. My heart breaks with yours as it ends in tears. I can't bear to see you distraught. "I told you so..." I say. "I know..." You say. I comfort you. We move past it. We go back to the way we were. I'm excited. I have a chance. I'll do it right this time. Fuzzy feelings and eyes full of hope, heart full of love. A sign that clearly, I hate you.

You're in my bed, You're in my heart. I ask again, you say no. I take what I can get, I stay you're friend. I cannot bear to part with you. I yearn for you when you look at others, I yearn for you when I encourage you to live your life and  go on dates, I yearn for you when you look at me with distain, debating how to say things because I still like you. I help you selflessly to pack and move in with a potential partner, I give you advice on another. Anyday, Anytime I say. I will love you anyday, anytime i think. Clearly, I hate you.

I don't need a reward, I don't need your love, if i can stay in your company for the rest of my life that would be enough. To pick up your pieces, to make you laugh, when you need a plus one, when your infatuations pass. If i can be the one to stand beside you and push you forward into happy days, i'll wear the title "Friend" like an Olympic Gold Metal. If i secure the word "Best", it'd be 10x better than a winning lottery ticket. I've tried to move on, i've tried to leave you alone, I've tried to hate you. But i can't bear to part with you. I can't bear to miss a smile. Clearly, I love you.