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And suddenly it hits me like a punch in the gut that I can BE all these beautiful things I read: I can cut off my hair and wear fishnet stockings and clomp around in big black boots and I can stand on the stage of my life and shout my love to the heavens because I CAN love these things in my life and these parts of my soul ---they are irrevocable and I’d die without my anger and my indignity and all my lunatic ravings I may not be the most coherent but when I feel I feel with every molecule of my being and I radiate beauty and light even with the perfect darkness in my heart and in my soul and I am so wonderful and so decidedly FEMALE and FEMINIST and damn proud of the magic of my sex and my sexuality and my gender and all the things that I have found myself to be in and of and it’s an epiphany not a change of heart but ever a realization, a coming into the sun becoming a daughter of all the glorious mothers who came before and I have never been so sure of anything in my whole life the world is mine to conquer and I will never, ever let anyone take this ownership from me, my rights and my worth and my dignity I will not doubt myself again! I will not ask why I am here-- I am here to be a sister, to preach and share my glorious womanhood-- I am alive and I will never again regret that fact. I am the leader, I am the fearless conquerer of my own destiny, loud and shining bright. And here it is and here I am, wonderful at last.