Closes Eyes

My tired eyes close. As my body froze. Light from the window reflects off The tears in my eye. My sadness doesn't always have a why. The perportions of my image in to your Eyes are distorted. I appear fat, ugly, & old. But to myself I look thin, young, & glow. I release my sorrow & wash my face. Mutual attraction does not exist. The single life I will never miss. Why can't my lips he just kiss? He might love it. Why is happiness with a true love not possible? Why is to say for him " I love you" so impossible? The vision of my life is not how I envision. I always assumed & imagined I would marry. No one ever asked how scary. In my twenties or thirties almost fourties. I give up hope. I realize now it will never happen for me.