Closeted

Why is it when I close my eyes all I see is you? 
Why is it that when you walk in the room my heart beats for you? 
Your smile is indescribable; your eyes are like the stars in the sky. 
Your laugh makes the sound of happiness I never had. 
All I want to do is to be with you, to be able to hold you, and fall asleep next to you. 
I don’t know who I am? 
I am afraid of who I really am. 
But yet when I’m with you, I feel like I know who I am. 
I don’t want to see the truth; I don’t want to see lies.
I don’t want to see you walk away from me, and out of my life. 
I once had pain that I thought I could never recover from.
I however did recover from this horrible pain, till now, I see 
That my pain was just wounds that were able to be penetrated, slicing open again, 
Slowly I allow the blood to trickle from my veins, once again,
Onto the pillows that rest my 
Tearful face with, and hope that the next day would not come. 
All I want to do is sleep and not even dream, for those are false hopes of mine that will never come true.