Closing

I tried to get closure
Tried to walk away feeling satisfied
Walk away with all of me with me
But a part of me stayed with you
That part of me has always been stuck on you

And you're right
You are so right
Our relationship has been very one-sided 
And it's because you put in more effort than I do
And I want to
I want to meet you half way
But I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do

I know I have problems
And I was hoping letting you in would solve them
But that part of me didn't want you to see the rest of me

We've taken our conversations beyond what I imagined
And I always walk away with little to no satisfaction 
Because I never got closure
I never fully accepted who I am
The part of me that you helped me uncover 

And I'm tired too
I'm tired of being so fucking tired
I'm so tired of saying how I tried this and how I tried that
The one thing I never tried is saying what I feel in the moment
I walk away wanting to stay because I never say...
Correction
Ask
I never ask you the one question that I always want to ask you every time we kinda end, but not really, a conversation 

If we never get closure that's fine by me
I'm just glad you opened me up
If we never get closure it means that we don't want this to end
Or maybe it means that I'm just trying to make myself feel better for not meeting you half way

I'm tired
And I know you are too
I want to say how I feel
But that part of me
The part that is stuck on you knows that we can't open another door when we never closed the first one

And if this feels like a mess of a thought
It's because it is
I'm a mess
I'm a mess and I know that if I meet you half way you will see how bad of a mess I really am

That first door is still open because I never allowed it to close
No one has ever been let in because I am always there
Blocking the entrance
And even though I am tired
I still want to try
I want to try because
Everything that goes up must come back down
And every opening must have a closing