closure
The tears, they flow endlessly-
Staining pants and a shirt-
I believe, I trust, I know what is right,
Though time after time becomes hurt.
And yes, you might not understand
How terribly hard I am trying.
But truly I am, I swear,
Only for memories am I crying.
Oh but the tears cease to cease,
Onward and out they pull through.
Comprehension is beyond me
I simply wish to remain with you.
“Love, comfort, console,”
The words that stain my heart.
You defined all this existed for
Then alone, chose to tear ‘part.
Inexplicable, flustering pain
Is all that my head can hear.
When you threatened to leave my side
I’d lost most things that I hold dear.
I crumpled and fell to floor,
Clutching my heart and my sides
Gasping for the pain to stop,
Hoping the ruin would subside.
For you promised me time and again
Wonder would you help me achieve.
Respect and compassion and time with you-
To love me, and to never leave.
I respect all the choices you’ve made,
I understand, know, and agree.
I hope that someday, you’ll be okay
With sharing decisions with me.
You frighten and stab at my mind,
You declare your own separation.
But it is not that fact that terrifies me,
It is what remains of our relation?
I trust you with all of my soul,
I want you to love me the same.
I know your choice is as sane as can be,
Maybe this is the reason you came.
I know you, too, are trying
To keep our friendship upright.
But when I am lost and alone and scared:
Sometimes there’s no one in the night.
Waiting is where I will be,
When you’ve already packed and moved on.
Miserable to say, yet possibly true,
Not sure who’s side you’re on.
Yes this poem is not too top notch,
It’s simplistic and rudimentary.
But my heart is too scattered to thing straight,
I need someone who’ll piece it and carry
It alongside me while walking.
A person who doesn’t bounce back
To ways I was treated for too long to handle,
Someone who won’t backtrack.
I don’t care to hear of your others,
I want to console you, but cry.
You couldn’t understand, for letting go
Is much harder for me than simply, “try”.
We deserve closure in person.
Pretending phases problems away.
It is not healthy to imagine life,
Or else, seriousnesses would stay.
So letting go might not be so hard,
If an opportunity arose.
Some conversation on the subject
Could bring pain to a close
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