A Cloudburst For The Day

The cool winds accompanied by the heavy rainfalls,

A cozy day to sit in a cold room with you,

While I write my book and sip on my coffee by your side.

Although it was never expressed openly, I hold this emotion close to my heart, like a deck of cards.

 A game of poker.

I am broken. 

At least I think I am.

A trail of broken hearts that haunt me,

Tears never my own, stained my shoulder.

Just like the rain today. 

You’re an interesting character, 

although I’ll never admit it openly.

In this world of mundane people, 

you're a ball of fire that I wanna touch.

Even if I burn my fingers. 

Although the pain wouldn’t be new to me, 

as my hands are stained with burn marks from cigarettes.

Your familiarity scares me though,

I am hesitant. 

Hesitant because familiarity leads me astray.

Quickly being vulnerable and regretting it.

Unlike my actions, my mind is made up.

Facing each other, as I study your facial features,

How much I wanna trace them gently with my fingers.

I can't help but wonder about the taste of your lips.

How it would feel against mine.

Will it spark like flint n steel?

Or will it remind me that I am unlovable?

Maybe reality is just too boring.

Or maybe too harsh.

I like the world in my head. 

Where you knew about my emotions.

Your gentleness mending me back together.

Our time spending together in our presence.

As simple as smoking a joint. 

How cozy it'll be to lay beside you.

It's almost euphoric thinking about it right now.

Your nice smile,

Your skin complexion,

 Your laugh, 

All comforting features.

I like rainy days.

It forces my mind to wander freely, and restricts my actions.

However, I know once the weather clears up,

My mind will be restricted and my actions free. 

But not in the manner to enforce my dreams into reality.

But on the way to continue on.

I know better than to try that.

It's like making coffee for the first time again,

The thought of it sounds amazing,

But if you add the wrong ingredient, it'll taste off.

Like adding salt instead of sugar, It’ll ruin the rest of the cup, like a mistake you can't take back. 

A bitter taste that lingers.

The off putting taste might even discourage you 

I thank you for this dream.

I’ll see you again in my head. 

Our bodies- free and naked. 

Like a beautiful piece of art in a museum awed by its raw and authentic beauty.

Maybe in our next trip in my head we can explore each others’ minds.

How does that sound?

My imaginary sunshine