Cold Shoulder

I escaped to you because
you told me we were star-crossed
like those two kids in an old dead
guy's iamb who killed or died or
did something stupid like that for love.

I escaped to you from the hoard
of inadequacies and verbal abuse
that came from a man I was supposed
to look up to, but all I saw when I 
looked up was how his self-hate
transposed to verbal validation
that the voices in my head found
a way out with the rest of his 
emotional garbage. 

I escaped to you because I thought
I was safe. 10 years of sharing late
night conversations and fighting
the sexual tension that still lies
between us. You told me I was safe.
You told me you loved me. 

"Because I love you, I get
a little worked up sometimes.
I know I hurt you, but I'm sorry.
You know I'm sorry. And because
you love me, you're going to
forgive me. I didn't mean to yell."

"Because I love you, I'm going to 
show you how you're fixing
dinner wrong. And how you should
do this my way-- because I know best.
Because you love me, I know
you will take my direction."

"Because I love you, we're
going to act on your secret
passions. I know they're there.
It's something you want anyway,
you just don't know it. I'm going
to touch your body in ways you don't
know you want. But I know you want it.
If I dont stop when you ask, I know
it will be fine. Because I love you. And
you love me."

Our definitions of love were different.
Are different.
Yours had conditions.
Mine was unconditional.
And, because I loved me, 
I didn't need your love.