The color of pride

I invited you into my home and you drug your feet as if you wished to be alone. Seven years of letting you beat me down with your depression and jealousy but I couldn't let you go I was too in love. Crawling into my bed your hand in my hair you would say your beautiful but that’s only to me no one will ever love you as much as I do, I am all you need. The empty bottles and smoke in the air your hands on my body, such a delicate flower untouched at least you respected me enough not to rush. Lies, deceit, drugs, and anger such a passion makes my soul burn to ashes. You look good I hear with a cigarette hang from your mouth your eyes speak the words of worthless property. All I can do is move in closer while I slow die inside. Sitting with a friend her head shaking in disgust and confused her eyes read of sorrow, and compassion. Your feelings mean more than mine so I endure the rage, the pain, and the tears that are masked by the beautiful makeup I place on my eyes. You speak your last lie, your stupid, cold, a bitch, your unlovable, you will never be loved….crying inside my spirit yells STOP! Lying there my eyes closed gasping for air watching you leave I am able to regain something I lost…..my pride.