A Coming of Age

I sit here in my chair,
                in a room of solitude and thought,
                in the house that I was raised.

I contemplate ironies and contradictions,
                as I read the words of Hughes
                as listen to those of Leary.

I reflect on actions of times past,
                and conceive the prospects of future time;
                and I start to become weary.

I thought that this moment was supposed to have passed already:
                the moment of maturation,
                the moment that a son grows into day.

I anticipated enlightenment and prayed for
                wisdom that was to come with age-
                wisdom that would help me find my way.

I am filled with apprehension;
                days of optimism and naivety have come and gone, and
                days of cynicism and responsibility have made their place.

I fear that I am not prepared, but-
                a revelation soon arrives;
                a revelation that, no one is ever prepared for this new embrace.

I replace the visions
                of burden, anger, and doubt, with ones
                of passion, love, and esteem.

I imagine the possibilities that
                my life may behold; and become enthralled with the idea that
                my aspirations could be more than just a dream.

I accept the reality of my situation:
                that I am entering a new world of responsibility;
                that the future is not one of ease.

I also begin to understand the first lesson of age-
                we must always hold onto hope, unless
                we want to face a world of hatred and social disease.

I spend hours immersed in thoughts, philosophies, and contemplations-
                hoping that I can find happiness, and peace in the future;
                hoping that life, could actually be fair.