You ask your parents how they feel about gay people

"trash" "freaks" "sinners"

They say “at least you aren’t one of them”

Yes, yes you are

They leave, slam the door, get drunk and cry to their friends

because you’re such a dissapointment

they tell everyone in a few drunken hours and then come home the next day

you all forget about it and bathe in the uncomfortableness for a few days until it’s in the backs of everyones minds

Round 2 and 3 and 4 and so on:

That damn journal is going to ruin your life

youll want to let it all out because although your friends dont hate you they make sure yo say “just dont hit on me”

you write and write about

how you wish you were straight,

how you wish you could take the courage to take a few pills

or step from a chair so that your family wouldnt have to deal with

"that issue"

yeah it’s in the past until your mom cleans your room for you and finds that damn journal

she throws it in your face and says it’s all for

attention, it’s all a facade

you could never be

that

Final Round:

It’s been years since a journal discovery or act of bravery

You tried to be smart and hide your writing in text documents with fake titles about aplit essays or history questions

yet again she stumbled upon it

you wrote about your first girlfriend, how you almost kissed, how much you liked her

but no, it’s still not a possibility

sometimes it’s brought up but it’s always ruled out

It’s a draw:

It’s not that you have to hide

they’re gonna ignore it either way

but to risk no financial help? to risk homelessness?

It’s all for the best

so you have to hide form your whole family, it could be worse, right?