A Coming Out Story

Imagine this

The day is March 27th, 2018

You have just seen Love, Simon

The tears are still rolling down your face

And the only thing you can think of are the words

I Am Gay

As you say those words

The white flag waves in the air

As it waves

You accept defeat

You can no longer suppress who you are anymore

This is me

And I love who I am

My chest becomes a volcano that has been waiting years to erupt

To release the pressure inside

The tears start to flow like lava flowing from the volcano

As the closet hears the tears and my cry

It knows that it’s my time to fly

As I sit across from my parents 

The volcano erupts

And the clothes push me put of the closet

As I fall

My mother catches me

The words, “Oh honey I’ve known for years”

Feels like clouds that I could lay on for years

But the bittersweet words of my father makes my heart fall

“I love you... but you know it’s wrong and you know I dont agree with it”

My heart falls 6 feet under

6 feet under where I thought my body would lay months ago

The tears flow from love and fear

Fear of the names I will be called

Lesbo and dyke

Those are just a few my father has called

But when I’m told that I will go to hell 

I laugh

I laugh because I would rather go to hell

Because if all of the gays are going

Then we will have the best party down there

While heave closes its gates 

For who we love

Then hell will open its gates holding us tight

Telling us it will be okay

We are loved

So yes, I’d rather go to hell

Some days I want to run back to the closet

And feel the warm embrace of the clothes that have held me for 16 years

But the closet door has locked

And the clothes no longer embrace me

So i must stand on my own

And be proud of who I am