Complex Identity

They tell me it's natural.

That this, is something of pride.  

“Girl, you were born this way! Accept it, and show that crazy world that it's YOUR life.”

But my love for God conflicts with lust.

Truth tells me to deny my flesh and turn from acts of sexual immorality.

So, my heart cries for fulfillment and my soul wars for peace.

My head hurts.

And then that really fine girl walks by with some stomach showing,

and my mind runs in a hundred different directions that I did not agree to it going in.

My church speaks love but everyone knows that church people

don't always act on their words when it comes down to that.

My parents speak safety but, can I really trust their reaction?

My mother acts as if it's disgusting. I agree, but in saying that,

we're both labeling me as

disgusting.

My friends walk in loyalty and in listening greatness.

But how do you tell your best girl friend that you battle

with lustful feelings for her and that you avoid being

in the pool with her at all costs not because you hate her

but because you hate the way you can't put your imagination

on pause?

Or your boyfriend that the physical appearance of men

doesn't sway you not because he's unattractive

but because breasts and curves distract your eyes instead?