Computer Brains

 It is 2am and I'm lying in my bed looking on my phone because insomnia is a cruel gift God chose to give random people for no reason.

At 2:30 I pull up and listen to meditations designed to help me relax. 

Breathing in and out I try to focus on my breathing and suddenly I remember.

Tomorrow, no, today, is Monday and my day is going to be crazy.

A moment ago I was so close to sleeping, But now my brain is everywhere again,

Gotta do that, 

I wonder what would happen if I got stuck in a Black ops video game 

Gotta do that, 

Walt Disney has taken over the world with a mouse.

Can't forget to do this.

And the process goes on and on.

My brain is jumping like it's on a trampoline playing hot potato with spiky steel balls that bounce like rabbits.

Why won't my brain just shut up?

I have Aspergers, which makes me think differently, more like a computer.

But my computer won’t stop glitching and failing to execute commands.

Making  me want to scream at it like my mother yells at her laptop when paying taxes.

Why is it that even though the brain in my head belongs to me, it feels more like I belong to it?

Chemical imbalances, those little electric glitches, can cause bi-polar, schizophrenia, anxiety or depression. 

People say "Just try thinking differently"

They don't realize that you can't get into the settings list and un-check the selected boxes!

The only way out is death, but when did you last hit your computer with a bat to make it work?

When the computer in your office freezes, you hit control, alt, delete.

But here you can't always control,

And the pills there to fix your wiring don't make you feel any better.

The only alternative is to delete yourself, but that's a fool's way out.

When your computer starts to play slow, you get an update. 

You change something in your life and test it, 

Keep testing and updating until your computer-brain can function.

Arts, sports, reading, you will do anything to make you computer stop freezing up and shutting down. 

So even though you can't control everything, 

there is a better alternative.

Delete the things that make you want to delete you life.

Because technology is amazing, 

Crunching incredible numbers

And humans are amazing,

Crushing records left by those before us  and filled with potential because 

Everyone's programming is different, 

Varying technologies that bring new views and ideas to the light for others to see,

A whole lab joining together to send us into the unknown and beyond!

So as I imagine this crazy Monday that's keeping me awake,

While I may realize that these wires can hurt and backfire the user

I will try to think about the fantastic things our computers will help us do.

Because that is something worth staying awake for.