Conditioned
To believe
I am trouble
I am needy
I need attention
I am worthless
I am guilty
I am shame
I am hated
I am disregarded
I am fat
I am skinny
I am never good enough as is
They make comments
They touch my body
“You look pregnant”
“You look swollen”
“You got male boobs”
“You’re too skinny”
“You’re too thin”
No one is ever satisfied
It’s me in the end I have to worry about
Please mind your business
My body
My life
My two surgeries
My hip hurts
I can’t run
My shoulder hurts
I cannot lift my arm
You sit with you stupid judgments
Conditioned
To see me with your warped point of view
Today I feel like hanging myself
Wiping myself from the debris
Of words, critical voices
Foolish silly people
Conditioned to see people
In their miniscule blinded world
Horses’ blinders…
Conditioned to hate myself
Never good enough
Never enough
Never enough
For you
For me
Let go
And kill the negative voices that live within
Silence!
You fools.
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Lucian A. Sperta
Published Author and Poet over 25 books in paper back and digital books Selected American Library Association 2015 Model Citizen 2013 Writer of the Month Meridan 1989 American Society of Authors Composers and Publishers since 1994 #8 Hot Top 100 Hot New Release in Poetry #1 Best in Photo Essay Amazon.com Some people think I expose myself too much in what I say in my poems, I don't consider myself a poet as much as I feel I am a story teller, how can one write subjected to other peoples point of view on how I write, what I write, and how I express myself. This is my journey and self expression is how I choose to deal with it; words, writing has been the outlet where I control without fear, without shame, the pen and paper will never betray you. A poet is one, I believe, can take a surgical scalpel to the soul and let it bleed what it truly feels.....
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