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A Confession of the Heart


is it bad to feel this way?
all i can see is his face
all i can hear is his voice
all i want is to lean in and give him a kiss
 
my heart jumps to my throat with this thought
i suddenly cringe back trying to clear my head
i know it can't happen not yet
i need to find myself before i add in some one like him
this isn't the first time i've had to try to stop my stupid heart
give it a scolding and turn away
i have to hide the flush on my cheeks
i have to still my heart
then i have to smile with these feelings hiding in my mind
 
i want to cry
what i want i am denying
i know his feelings
and i know mine
but i know we need more time.
 
it's hard
he's so sweet and kind
he's someone i can open up to
be goofy
be serious 
be creative
i can be me without worries
 
but there is nothing i can do
i know we need time
i have told him so 
i have spat out these lines time and again
yet no matter how i word it
my heart say's no its a lie
my mind say's this is logical
 
i don't know anymore
my confession is this
i want him and only him
he's everything i want
and nothing i don't
 
and yet i can't even show him 
this simple poem
he mean's so much
and yet 
my hearts song 
this poem may never be seen by him.
 
-
4/25/2014
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