Confessions of a go-getter

Have you ever been having a nice time 

Everything seems fine 

Someone says something nice 

Or you hear a certain song

Then out of nowhere you start to cry 

And all these emotions are overflowing 

And you don’t know why? 

We all have our moments

I’ll share with you one of mine 

I was sitting with a 

good friend 

We were vibing and talking when 

She tells me how proud of me she’s been 

She says girl you’re really shining 

I see you out here grinding

And I immediately descend 

It was appreciated don’t get me wrong 

But with each and every compliment,

I felt more and more like a fraud 

She looks at me and says what’s wrong 

I then felt the need to apologize 

No one wants to be the one to change the vibe 

We dream of breaking chains 

& creating generational wealth 

But first we must address our mental health 

So I said I’m sorry if I ruin our session 

But I have to be real & tell you how sometimes I get so stuck in this depression 

It hits me so hard 

It’s like all of my emotional scars 

Are cut And I’m bleeding, it’s spilling everywhere 

But still no one can see me 

Im losing too much blood 

Someone call 911 

If only someone was there, someone that I love 

But it’s just me in this bed

Wishing I could get out of my own head 

I don’t want to be here but I don’t want to be dead 

Maybe I just need more rest 

But instead I lay here restless 

I have got to get this off my chest sis 

I toss and I turn 

I scroll thru countless reels of nothing until my eyes burn 

I self medicate 

Until the pain no longer radiates 

Until this feeling doesn’t dominate 

Eventually my mind and my heart coordinate 

I pray, I gain control and then I meditate 

Remind myself I have a purpose and it’s in me to be great 

And I say all this to say 

I can’t be alone in feeling this way 

So let’s come together and create 

An environment that feels safe 

To speak on how we feel

As it is  the only way that we can truly heal.