Confessions of a Go-Getter

Have you ever been having a nice time

Everything seems fine

Someone says something nice

Or you hear a certain song

Then out of nowhere you start to cry

And all these emotions are overflowing

And you don’t know why?

We all have our moments

I’ll share with you one of mine

I was sitting with a

good friend

We were vibing and talking when

She tells me how proud of me she’s been

She says girl you’re really shining,

I see you out here grinding,

And I immediately descend.

It was appreciated, don’t get me wrong.

But with each and every compliment,

I felt more and more like a fraud.

She looks at me and says, “what’s wrong?”

I then felt the need to apologize.

No one wants to be the one to change the vibe.

We dream of breaking chains

And creating generational wealth,

But first we must address our mental health.

So I said I’m sorry if I ruin our session,

But I have to be real & tell you how sometimes I get so stuck in this depression

It hits me so hard

It’s like all of my emotional scars

Are cut,  and I’m bleeding.

It’s spilling everywhere, but still no one can see me

I'm losing too much blood

Someone call 911

If only someone was there, someone that I love

But it’s just me, in this bed

Wishing I could get out of my own head

I don’t want to be here, but I don’t want to be dead

Maybe I just need more rest

But instead I lay here restless

I have got to get this off my chest, sis.

I toss and I turn,

I scroll thru countless reels of nothing until my eyes burn,

I self medicate,

Until the pain no longer radiates,

Until this feeling doesn’t dominate.

Eventually my mind and my heart, they coordinate

I pray, that’s when I gain control, and then I meditate

Remind myself I have a purpose and that it’s in me to be great.

And I say all this to say

I can’t be alone in feeling this way

So let’s come together and create

An environment that feels safe

To speak on how we feel

As it is the only way that we can truly heal.