Confessions of a Real Life Perfectionist

I just want to stop trying I just want to stop time Stay frozen in the moments that matter Sharing laughs with my mother Playing superhero with my father Watching flicks with my sister I don't want to try When I begin to, A bubble of anxiety climbs up my body and rests in my throat and I can't swallow I'm tired of striving My dreams and aspirations are bigger than me And seem to move further and further away as I reach toward them I'm over people It seems as though when we come together; we have to be someone else I'm a comedian for you, a therapist for her, an over-achiever for him But never myself I'm burnt out with school Learning things that have nothing to do with me And everything to do with perpetuating the structure of society Everything must stop This life must end And begin again, anew I must find a way to be free of trying Be free of expectation Be free of outcomes Be free of fear This life must stop and begin again resting in the comfort of God resting in his promises resting in his peace in his love Where are the moments that matter? They seem to only come sporadically I'm just so tired of trying But most of all, I’m afraid of failing