Confessions of a Troubled Lover

When we first spoke Without having seen your face I knew I would want you and want to be yours After talking more I fell....hard My only hope is that you would catch me Catch me instead of letting me hit the ground Smashing into minuscule shards of pain Catch me and keep me safe from harm Hug me, kiss me My body yearns for your touch To relish in the soft caress of skin on skin To bask in the intensity of your loving gaze Feeling your warmth wash over me Whenever we come into contact My fears are that you'll laugh Until your face tints red And your veins bulge That you'll leave Never to speak those gentle words again Although painful, knowing that I have almost no chance with you is strangely comforting Because it means I can still be in your life and maybe if I'm lucky, occasionally, your thoughts as well It shames me That I cant even tell you Tell you what exactly I feel when we talk Like the fact that, Butterflies, those timid creatures on silent wings, scared at the slightest breeze Invade, subdue, and control me My words and actions are guarded heavily To the point that I'm over-anylyzing Every thought, every move, perhaps even every breath Making sure I dont slip up Revealing to you my heart Giving you the chance to jest and strike at me Making my worst nightmare a reality Confirming one of my fears.... That you can't or won't be with me For lack of the feelings Of which i've given every ounce