conformity

i can’t keep my head above the water.

i keep going under 

with no chance of getting over 

these cresting waves;

i can’t swim as well as before.

each time i attempt surfacing

i am pushed down,

over

and over

and over again.

i know i’m drowning. 

save me

…

no,

don’t.

it’s so quiet down here.

i’ll grow gills and fins again

and let the water be

where i am reborn.

the pressure feels normal again,

these scales feel right

i feel like me.

i’m leaving the world i wanted behind.

i miss the world i knew

and the maid i was before you.