Confused

I remember my first cold was when my mom left telling me she loved and to be strong that she was eventually going to come back because she loved me and I remember I felt a cold run around my body straight to my heart and i knew I would never be the same that everybody who told me they loved would eventually left because that word meant coldness and abandonment more that what it actually meant and there you are standing in front of telling me you love and yet that you leaving conforming what I always knew that being loved is equal to being left out