Confusion

Should I forget the misery that clouds my victory

Should one outweigh the other

Should I only remember the pain or my joy?

Is it okay to remember them together?

For yesterday I was tired, from winning

But today I am tired of betrayal,

Of being betrayed

God is watching, and he loves me

But I have no idea what is going on in my life

Or my feelings

I have to trust that his way is the only way,

That God knows what he is doing and he is preparing me for something all my life.

Yet, right now my heart aches, my soul quivers,

And down my spine are sent shivers

I will pray

And I may cry

But not today, am I not going to

give up or give in

No matter how I feel