Congratulations

Administration- principal and your staff, last year was a hard one for you;

So I want to take this opportunity to say congratulations.

You made it.

You got through the entire school year.

You got to graduation.

You made it through:

5 hushed up pregnancies, the girls sent off to other schools;

17 kids caught drinking at prom, allowed to walk so long as they didn’t bring it up again;

23 drug dealers, each with at least ten buyers in each of their classes, ignored;

3 occasions of leaked nude pictures, where you went after the girl in them and not the person who spread them around;

4 canceled events, because they were just too much work for you;

176 kids who didn’t know all of your names, because one introduction at the beginning of the year wasn’t enough for them;

But you made it.

Despite those seniors just refusing to let you take your hour long lunches in peace;

Not cooperating enough to make the eight minute walk from end to end of the school in the required five;

Being so self-centered that they keep making complaints about that very nice teacher who brought doughnuts to the last staff meeting;

So she couldn’t be as bad as they had thought.

And school couldn’t have been as bad as they made it seem;

What’s a little asbestos in the ceilings, really?

They didn’t know how good they had it.

I understand.

I feel for you.

And that’s why I wanted to offer you my congratulations.

Because you made it.

And now you don’t need to see any of those kids again;

They’re someone else’s problem now.