Connection

Everything I do is wrong, everything you do is right, I never change or do or try. I don't feel supported, I don't feel right. I don't feel like myself, I feel like a child after never learning better. I feel ironic for thinking these things after i was told to speak them yet i feel ashamed and worthless as I try to teach my words to who can not comprehend and as i do not yet understand myself. And that there creates a barrier between these words and my actions therefore one is greater than the other, one does not do enough while the other watches, I'm sorry there is not more, im sorry I have no power over my own mind. Please have patience. I'm sorry things are different and I am not adapting I'm not not evolving, changing to my surroundings correctly only changing my colors to fit in and suit you best. I'm sorry I thought you had understood all my mind and what it had to tell but I'm telling myself that I'm lost again  searching for a mind I  already have a connection with that should already be willing to observe what I say as rare, idiotic but rare. Somewhat fragile In the palm of its hand. How i speak will upset you and you will feel as if you are not enough but you are everything as i dreamt and more. Have patience that I am trying to change myself and not my colors, not my words, only thinking of how to project them correctly as to not push buttons. As to not make myself feel ashamed any longer to better equipt what we are.
I'm sorry but it will take time.
I'm sorry but there is not more.
All i have to offer is more change to myself, and I'm not sorry for that.