Connections

I was two when my father underwent his first surgery. I was given only minimal details, knowing he was sick and the surgery would help him get better. During the surgery, my aunt took me to the Stanford gift shop to help me pick out a get well gift. Browsing the many palm sized stuffed animals I spotted a brightly colored turtle. It was a simple design. The shell, comprised of purple and yellow hexagons, connected the bright red head, flippers, and tail. A small black stitched smile ran across its face. I immediately chose it and ran back to the waiting room. When we were called in, I followed closely behind my mother, the gift clutched in my small hands. My father turned his head and smiled at the sight of his family. I walked over and reached up to present him with the little stuffed animal.

My father slept with the turtle every night.

Five years ago, my aunt woke me up and took me to my parents room. She told me that my father had been repeating "I love Nathaniel" over and over. I walked into the room to see almost all of my family sitting around him. The turtle was lying on his chest. The walls were lined with the art my cousins and I had done the night before. My father looked at me, then laid his head back on the pillow. I sat down on the bed next to him without saying anything. His breathing became more rapid as he began fighting to keep his eyes open. We all comforted him, telling him that it was okay.

I keep the turtle on the bookshelf next to my bed.

The turtle is my inspiration. It rides the current, gliding effortlessly with the flow, moving gracefully through the water.  It has a strong connection to the place it was born and often returns. The turtle's shell is strong, protecting it from danger. The turtle is seen as wise in many cultures. Other cultures see the turtle as a symbol for endurance and strength. In many Asian countries, the turtle symbolizes the universe, and in Native American mythology, the turtle holds up the world on its back. To me, the turtle symbolizes peacefulness and strength. The turtle is my inspiration.

My father was a turtle.