Constellations

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You missed the day in biology when your teacher went over

the composition of the human body.

Maybe if you knew you were 93% stardust

you wouldn't have sparked your supernova, 

Filling the bathtub with all your galaxies.

 

Your parents found you drowning in your own blood,

and the white shirt you got last Christmas all stained with red.

Darling, don't you know every star in the sky is just as special?

When you blinked out, Orion lost its belt

and now every constellation is following suit.

 

Your mother won't eat because all she can think about is

the day she didn't let you stay home, and the

black hole you disappeared into is starting to sound inviting.

She won't go out with a bang like you did, but slowly, slowly-

Watching the Earth turn on its axis in a painful pirouette

that reminds her of your four-year-old ballerina feet.

 

Your father doesn't want to remember lowering your grave into the dirt,

So he drinks himself six feet under until your hand isn't clutching his

and he doesn't have a name.

He's a comet crashed and burned, scorching your face into the earth with 

every dying breath.

 

Your little sister doesn't shed a tear because you once called her a crybaby;

She lays in your bed and prays you don't get mad, 

Falling asleep with her nose against the pillow that still smells like your shampoo.

She's old enough to know that you spun so far out of the Milky Way

there's no chance you'll come back.

But she still clings to the memories of

Barbies and Disney movies and the shape of your mouth when you applied your lipstick,

a pretty pink "O."

She has makeup on her face as she says your name in her sleep. 

 

There's a boy one hundred and seventy-two miles away

Who would have watched you walk down the aisle with a lump in his throat.

In eighty-one days he'll be working at a coffee shop

And no one will order an iced vanilla latte

And he won't trip and spill it on his way over,

Offering dinner as an apology for the ruined blouse.

That boy could have written sonnets about the universe in your eyes

But not even the inside of your coffin can see them now.

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