Consumption of love

The one thing that used to flow through my mind like a constant repeat of a song is waking up and everything be gone. It’s not my family and friends that won’t let my mind be at bay, but it is the thing that keeps me laughing and smiling all through the day and sometimes even frustrated of how much I care about it. It is called love. It’s not the thoughts of losing love that bought me concern, but losing the person who taught me what it truly means. The person who held so much power over me by being the reason of my smiles and also my cries. The person who taught me my worth and also made my world crumble into a million pieces at the same time. The person who I love but won’t ever speak it. That’s my fear, it’s losing him. Craziest thing is I did. My worst fear came overnight,  I saw it coming but held onto thoughts of him. The question is what happened after. Hate and resentment like no other. That’s who I became, until I saw that I hated myself for it. It consumed me until breaking point but the thing is I’m not broken. It didn’t break me because I broke it. The thoughts of waking up and losing him and everything with it was my deepest fear. Now my only fear is losing myself to love all over again. Also forgetting you can’t control other people actions and what they do. You only can control you.