Control

I thought about it for days maybe even weeks

I first looked at you and became white as a sheet

My voice quivered I lowered my head

Will you go out with me? I said

You smiled and that’s when you said

Sounds fun maybe this weekend?

I smiled I screamed

Was this just a dream?

To me it was everything, to you it was not.

My intentions clear, my actions not

You said you were confused a whole lot

You made up your mind, let’s stay as friends

“I don’t really want a boyfriend”

I was a little hurt, a little crushed

I made up my mind in a rush

The weeks were awkward I would still blush

You constantly told me to shush

Suddenly I heard you say

I missed you the other day

Taken aback a little muddled

You even said you wanted to cuddle

My attention redirected to your bubble

Little did I know there would be trouble

You were always on my mind

What can I say

I gave you my full attention everyday

You told me you liked me

You led me astray

I was your prey

I bought you things

I took you out

I never had any doubt

At the end you pulled me aside

“I never wanted this to coincide”

What do you mean

What did you say

You never thought of me that way?

I was hurt

I was shocked

My heart probably stopped

Nevertheless, I carried on

Minding my own business 

trying to stay strong

that’s when you said

Why don’t you talk to me anymore

Is it because I'm a bore

You were upset

I don’t know why

You said you didn't want anything to do with me and I tried

Even more confused you led me on again

Just cause you wanted someone to take you out on the weekends

You used me

My attention gave you glee

But most of all

How you made me feel

Made me feel like shit after the whole ordeal

Tried to put the blame on me

Said that I was crazy when I tried to flee

I was always there for you when you wanted

But now you're saying I’m unwanted

I learned a lesson

Never to give

Away my life

To any old someone 

For once its given it can’t be undone