Control

October 23, 2019

alone in a room, with your needle and spoon, filled with the innards of a balloon, bought off of a cartoon, down in the lagoon and pretty soon, after that harpoon, your mind will become immune, and create a new goon, no longer prune of the loon. with that upside, all that cried inside, now you decide, to reside outside! like the slow slide, of the oceans tide, you will stride allied beside, a truly wide defied divide, where fried pride, and pried lies, will always arise, so spy and be wise, because the size of your lies, supply a unwise guys tie heed this advice, unless you like all the why's energy you authorize otherwise supply the surprise.

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Comments (2)

breena322May 11, 2023

This poem is a unique and creative look at destorying one's inhibitions in order to break free from the constraints of society. I especially like the line "buy off of a cartoon down in the lagoon" as it perfectly captures the feeling of freedom one can get by letting go. I think the poem could be improved by providing a more detailed description of the emotions and sensations of breaking free. For example, you could focus on how it feels to escape an oppressive situation or the sense of overwhelming joy that comes with liberation. If you like writing about breaking free from societal expectations, you may want to check out the works of William Butler Yeats who wrote many wonderful yet powerful poems about liberation and identity.

breena322Oct 23, 2019

Another good one