Control Freak

Dear boy,

Do you know how you hurt me?

How you made me feel alone and empty,

pretending we were meant to be,

making me feel guilty for trying to leave.

You made me promise to never flee,

I felt trapped, never being able to love

using phrases like "I need you with me",

thinking we fit together like a glove.

You made me feel bad for losing emotion.

I was yours but longed for something new,

Me not with you, was me leaving; a notion.

Never making my own decisions without you.

I became bland, only here to satisfy your needs,

ignored myself and how I truly feel,

hiding my words, like a snake in the weeds,

these scars of emptiness to deep to ever heal.

I gave you all of me, I killed myself for you

but you did not feel it was enough,

you told me how to feel, how to make it new,

keeping up with these fake emotions is tough.

Until one day I met the someone else,

I used it as a way to get out of your clutch,

you knew he was the reason my heart melts,

tried to pull us apart; the attraction was too much.

I left, I broke your heart to save mine,

the dark clouds had left my life,

my new love made me feel like I was filled with sunshine,

I felt relief when you left as if you were in my side like a knife.

Three months passed, free from you,

I feel like myself, I am in control,

Reborn into someone else, brand new

I am me, back and better, whole.

You say hes not right for me, 

because you hate to see me with someone new,

reliving the memories of who we used to be,

all I know is he is better for me than you. 

Were you jealous of my friends and life?

Or were you jealous of who I came to be?

Was it the presence of our hidden strife?

But do you know how you hurt me?