Conversations With Myself
I’m having conversations with myself
That I’m too scared to say out loud to others
Afraid of sounding desperate for attention
I’ve learned my lesson from playing with fire
Picking up my pieces is like
Counting stars
I lose track of what is right in front of me
Collecting dust and pretending it’s diamonds
I’m tired of hiding from everyone
Mental illness isn’t pretty no matter how much
The media glamorizes it
You cannot analyze something you do not understand
I’m taking a stand
But fighting your own demons is hard to do alone
And f*ck I feel so alone
I said it out loud
I feel so alone
They say that home is where the heart is
But there are parts of me in people who
Are no longer worthy of my kindness
I’m not blind, but naive
Easily deceived into thinking that
The good guy always wins
I’m having conversations with myself
That need to be heard
Hushed whispers from closed doors
Train whistles lingering in the air
Desperate for one more lone passenger
As though the night is closing in around me
Like hands cupped too tightly
My sanity slipping through the cracks of my fingertips
We’re all hypocrites
Aren’t we?